Five Promises Every Parent Should Make
At Sunset Lake we start each week of camp with the same tradition. After our first line call, we sit everyone down in a circle under the shade of giant cedar tree and we make five promises to our campers and invite them to make the same with each other. We call it our “five-finger contract” because we use our fingers to remind us of the promises we have made to each other. Here is the contract:
Pinky Finger – Safety. I promise to do everything in my power to keep you safe both physically and relationally. I can’t guarantee that no one will ever get hurt, but we have put in place rules and practices that will help to protect you and I expect that you will follow them.
Ring Finger – Commitment. I promise to be present with each of you this week. I am going to get involved, make new friends, try new adventures, and not sit on the sidelines. We only have one week together, and I want to make every moment count. I invite you to do the same.
Middle Finger – Respect. I promise to respect each of you because you are children of God, made in his image. Our differences are what make us beautiful and they will be celebrated this week. I will never do anything to do disrespect or bully you. And I invite you to do the same for each other.
Pointer Finger – Responsibility. I will always take responsibility for my actions. That means if I hurt someone else’s feelings, I will consider it an honor to apologize and do all I can to restore that relationship. I won’t blame and shame others or get defensive but admit when I am wrong. I invite each person to do the same.
Thumb – Encouragement. Our words have power. Every word I say this week will be to encourage you and make you a better person. I won’t use my words to hurt others and tear them down. I expect everyone to do the same.
After all the promises are shared our staff say to the campers, “If you ever see us not living up to any one of these promises you have our permission to come up to us privately and tell us. Our response will always be to apologize and ask how we can do better.
When the conversation is over we seal the contract by sharing high fives all around. During the course of the week, we remind each other to live up to those promises by asking each other give us five or by saying, “I don’t think that was being respectful.” These shared promises form the behavioral framework of camp.
What would happen if you lived by these same five promises at your home? How would the dynamic of your home change if your children knew that will do all you can to keep them safe, that you will always be present for them, that will always respect them and take responsibility for your actions? And what if every word spoken at home was used to build each other up? These five promises could change everything.
