Understanding the 4/14 Window
The statistics are astounding. According to research by Dr. Bryant Myers nearly 85% of the decision that are made for Christ in the United States happen between the ages of 4-14. This figure was reconfirmed in a study by George Barna.
Barna states that: “…the probability of someone embracing Jesus as his or her Savior was 32 percent for those between the ages of 5 and 12; 4 percent for those in the 13-18 range; and 6 percent for people 19 or older. In other words, if people do not embrace Jesus Christ as their Savior before they reach their teenage years, the chance of their doing so at all is slim.”
In other research George Barna shows that a persons worldview is fully formed by the age of 13.
These statistics have a staggering impact on how we choose to raise our children.
If you want your children to learn to trust God and have the opportunity to enter into a life-long relationship with him, the time to start building that faith culture in your home is now. It may seem like a good idea to take a wait and see approach to faith development in your home. Perhaps you had religion forced on you at an early age in an unhealthy way or maybe you are still working out your own faith and want to wait to teach your child until you feel better able to talk about faith. These feeling are understandable; however, your child is forming his or her worldview now and is looking to you for guidance. Here are some things to help you on that journey.
1. A lack of certainty is not the same as having nothing to offer. Share with your children what you know and be willing to be a companion to your child as you both grow together in your relationship with God.
2. Doing nothing is not neutral. Don’t assume that you can wait to form faith in your child and expect them to be an empty vessel later in life. Your child will form their worldview with or without you. It is far better for you to be at the head of line as your child builds their worldview than to bring up the rear.
3. Don’t be afraid of doubts and questions. Kara Powell, director of the Fuller Youth Institute states, “It is not doubt that is toxic to faith, but silence.” Allow your child to ask questions and wrestle with their faith. Curiosity and wonder fuel a desire to learn and grow.
4. It is okay for your child to ask questions that you don’t have the answer to. Admit that you don’t know and then take the time to learn together. Avoid the proof texts and easy answers. This kind of black and white faith is quickly discarded as irrelevant by your child.
5. Don’t be afraid to live out your faith in front of your child. Let them see you reading the Bible and praying. Let them see you wrestle and struggle through your own faith. Talk about what God is doing in your life. This helps your child understand that faith can be relevant for them as well.
6. Don’t focus solely on passing on a list of doctrinal beliefs to your children - but also make sure that you are passing on a posture and practice of faith. Be curious, humble, empathetic, consistent, servant-hearted, and graceful in your walk with Jesus. Your children are watching.
7. Finally, regularly extend invitations to your children to trust and follow Jesus. Never force them and never pressure or belittle them if the answer is no. Just consistently keep Jesus’ invitation in front of them. Make Jesus attractive in your home and eventually your child will respond.
